Here is another interesting letter. It again addresses a common issue. I hope it and my answer again provoke thought and conversation within my readers communities

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Mistress Strict,

I hope this email finds you in good health and in
life. I have recently discovered the BDSM community and find
myself in a position that I have no one to ask questions to and get real
answers. I hope you can help. I have a couple of slaves that have thrown
themselves at my feet and I am super excited about it except I don't know
what to do with them. They have offered up house work & yard work. Never
having had a male offer to do those things is strange to me ........but what do slaves generally expect in return? Or what do I give them in return.
I don't want to use and abuse my slave unless he
asks so a little guidance would be so nice!

Mistress (in-training)

My dear Trainee,
From the very outset I must stress that the things I am about to say are only one Mistress's opinion. Ask several different Dommes the same questions, and you WILL get several different answers. With that caveat clearly in place I will proceed.

My first comments have to be about safety. YOUR safety.

I have no idea where these 'slaves' who have 'thrown themselves at your feet' have come from, but my first question is, Do you know them well enough and trust them sufficiently to invite them into your home? For a moment remove the D's aspect from the situation. Are these men that you would normally want visiting you at home alone? If you are not 100% sure then don't!!! Meet them first in a public location. For a coffee perhaps. Find out what it is they want.

Some who call themselves 'slave' are sexually turned on by being ordered to do manual labor for a dominant women. Are you prepared for that? Some slaves desire only to do your house work in return for your punishing them physically for doing a 'poor job'. Are you prepared for that? Do you know how to punish someone without causing physical damage?

There are so many wonderful opportunities to explore within the world of Ds. It must be remembered that the 'community' is made up of so many different people, each with their own kink. Communication is the key to any relationship. A Ds relationship is no exception. Talk to these 'slaves' Discuss with them what it is they REALLY desire.

I hope that helps.

Mistress Strict

A question without an answer.

Below is a very common type of letter I receive. I wonder how YOU would reply?

Good evening Mistress Strict. I have long had a fantasy of putting myself in the control of a dominant woman. I am married; my wife would never understand this. I don't really know what would be involved and what boundaries are set if any. I am really quite nervous but excited at the prospect. Sorry I'm not trying to waste your time, I would just like to know a little bit more about what is involved.

Hope you can help

A Letters reply

Greetings,

The other day I received the letter below. It is not the first of this type of email I have received, nor to I suspect will it be the last. I have decided to post it here, with my reply attach. The reply is of course only THIS Mistress's opinion. I hope that it might provoke some discussion and thought.

Hello mistress, and thank you for making the opportunity
and privilege of sending you a message so easy. As I have become older (
now 37) the need to serve and be controlled by a dominant women is
overwhelming. I have had some relationships with some wonderful ladies,
but cannot connect or get turned on at all. .................................................................. ...................Have you had any slaves like me, and if so what is the future if
I do not find a dominant women like yourself?

MY REPLY

In answer to your question, "Have I had any slaves like me, and if so what is the future if I do not find a dominant women like yourself?" my answer is yes. I have had the pleasure of being served by ones like you, I in fact have the great privilege of having a boy whom I cherish and who serves me well. I feel sure that there were times in his life when he felt like you. The desire to serve being strong within him and yet having no one to serve. A sub without a Mistress is like a lost soul, but there is aways hope. Just as in the vanilla world, one must meet many people before one meets a like minded spirit.

I would suggest that at 37 your search for the right Mistress is just beginning. Enjoy that journey. While you search for the right one, make every moment count. Dedicate yourself to learning HOW to serve. Ensure that when you do find 'the one' that you have the skills and dedication necessary to be as valuable to her as my boy is to me.

This is just one Mistress's opinion, but I believe that the gift of submission is a precious one. Don't give it away lightly. A Mistress must be worthy of your gifts just as you must be worth of her attention. Many claim the title of Mistress, not all are worthy of it, to take on a submissive is a responsibility, and an honour. There is no rush. Talk, mix with like minded people. Learn what is it that you desire.

I hope my words are of help.

Mistress Strict

Know Thy Self

A small piece of advice for those how seek to serve.

KNOW Thy Self.

Journeying through the world of Bdsm can be an exciting adventure, you will learn much about others, and about yourself, however, before embarking on that journey, take time to reflect on your starting point.

Know yourself.
Know what it is that you want.
Know what you DO NOT desire.

All these things change as we grow and learn, but knowing yourself, knowing your limits knowing your value is hugely important.

How can you offer yourself to someone to serve them, if you don't know what you are good at. How can you assist your Mistress if you have no skills to offer her.

Think about that BEFORE you offer yourself into service.

Strange But True

As a result of my most recent post, I have received a number of responses from subbies and sissies who know me who have expressed great concern that the post about attention seeking was in reference to their behaviour. I have been astounded by this.

I believe that I am some who does not pull her punchs, rest assured dear reader, if I was bothered by someone behaviour, I would make comment to them directly. They would be in no doubt what so ever that their attention seeking behaviour was not acceptable to me

The attention seeking post expressed my thought about such behaviour in general. It is an insight into my own likes and in that case dislikes. I realize that not all Mistress feel as I do, nor should they. We are individuals, no two Mistresses are the same, no two Mistresses will view behaviour in exactly the same way. That is as it should be.

This is MY blog, these are MY opinions. Anyone has the right to disagree.

Attention Seeking

There is a habit that some submissives display that I find particularly disappointing. That is Attention seeking behaviour. What is attention seeking behaviour. Think of the last time you were in a supermarket and saw a toddler whining and tugging at their mothers sleeve. THAT is attention seeking.

"Mistress I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't" is attention seeking.

'Mistress I adore you I worship you, you are the sun and the moon, you are my all you and my everything, ..........." is attention seeking.

Misbehaving is attention seeking.

Being a drain rather than of service is attention seeking.

I find it amazing that again and again a submissive will try this type of behaviour in an effort to gain attention. For me such behaviour deserves only one response. Being ignored. If it continues the submissive is not worthy of the attention they crave and should I believe be banished until they learn to behave.

Harsh, perhaps, but they WILL learn or be very miserable.

Often Amazed

I am often amazed by the total lack of simple good manners and courtesy shown to me in e-mails by prospective clients, eager submissives and desperate slave. These are people who wish me to pay them some attention and yet this is a sample of an actual email I recently received;

“I need a very hard spanking in frost of every one please E mail me @ ………. “
(I have removed the address to avoid embarrassing the sender)

That was the total extent of the communication. No greeting, No name given. What can anyone sending such an email hope to gain?

Here is another example;

“I want to serve you. I want to lick your boots and be owned by you. I am willing to relocate. I want to be a total slave.”

Again, there is no greeting, no name, no respect shown, no graciousness no consideration shown. Again I ask the question, what can anyone sending such an email hope to gain.

In both cases they gain NOTHING. The delete button is my friend and I do not hesitate to use it.

A word to the wise. I don’t mind if your emails are not highly eloquent, I don’t mind if English is not your first language and so your grammar is not all it could be, but I do mind when people writing to me do not put a greeting on there emails, EG Dear Mistress Strict
I do mind when they fail to sign a name in closing.
I do mind when they fail to spell check their letters.
I do mind when they fail to use the subject line.

A further suggestion:-
When writing to a Domme seeking to be accepted into her service, do not make your correspondence all about YOU. Rather, write explaining why you would be of great service to the lady. List your skills explaining how they would benefit her. Make sure your focus is on the Mistress and NOT on yourself.

Be polite,
Be respectful and
Be considerate.